therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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