I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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