Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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