Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
