I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.