But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I CAN MOONWALK!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today