I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.