Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?