we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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