I want to make a zoo with you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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