the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
