he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.