so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
