can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
