i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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