just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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