I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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