You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
where are my eyebrows?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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