i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your penis caused this!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
