1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
