operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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