Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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