tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
