I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!