honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You're like the curious george of whores
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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