I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have post one night stand depression
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