just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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