the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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