I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize