I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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