And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
