I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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