a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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