I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ttyl tear gas
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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