I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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