dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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