doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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