I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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