You just made me feel so damn special
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize