A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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