and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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