we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
