You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
