I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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