for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize