508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
