Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize