Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize