Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
