Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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