Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize