she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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