that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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